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Moving to another stage in life requires enduring the stretch that life circumstances puts on our hearts and mind.
Self improvement will not occur without personal change, new habits, consistent effort and vigor to meet one’s goals. For many, struggle halts forward movement, even when it appears early in one’s effort. We have a culture that is accustomed to abandoning goals when objectives are not easily met. But having a will to succeed and an unyielding vision for one’s future is necessary for any amount of success. Sometimes when the going gets tough (or seems too overwhelming to even start) we tell ourselves stories like, “Success is for that other guy in that other neighborhood from that other family.” We accept the myths created in our mind and resolve to remain in our current station a lifetime. It does not have to be that way. Anyone of us can create the vision we have for our future if we possess absolute belief. BUT! Absolute belief does not absolve us from groundwork and real effort. Creation requires tenacity, knowledge and the development of skill sets relevant to our goals. With no work behind it, belief is nothing. If we spend too much idle time watching television, we become disillusioned to reality. There is no such thing as an ‘overnight’ success. There are many, many, many months and years of overnights that bring about success. These nights are often long, sleepless and can be lonely. The journey is not as sexy as the outcome. But that is okay. It is what it is. We have to push and push and bring our ideas from vision to visible. We should expect that life will present circumstances that will challenge us morally, financially and otherwise. This is not a signal to quit. This is the indication that we are likely on the verge of something great and should take dedicated action now. We must also remember never to compare ourselves to the highlight reels in our social media feeds. Comparison can be a killer. We have to assess ourselves based on the metrics of own circumstances, not others’. Whether it be family dynamics, career success or social status-we lose sight of what is real for ourselves when we constantly poke our noses over our neighbor’s fence.
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The oak does not lament the transition of seasons which causes its leave to change colors, wither and eventually fall away. Nor does the falling away of its leaves cause the death of the tree itself.
We can learn a lot in our study of nature. In doing so, we observe that spring comes forth to reward the oak with fresh, new leaves to adorn its branches. In this, we should understand that some people and circumstances can come into our lives for only a season. Grieving something that once was, can be painful. This is suffering and we are not here for suffering. When our circumstances change, we must accept what is new. Overlooking our current reality looking back for one that has passed may cause us to miss the gifts that our present circumstance is trying to give us. Each spring brings the renewal of fresh leaves. Let’s look for the renewal within our changing circumstances. This means that we must desist from searching out the dead which has fallen away from us. We cannot find life in the same place we seek death. It is also necessary to remember that change does not mean the death of us. We can bring the lessons we've learned to the next stage and grow with our newfound wisdom. Burying ourselves in pain, feelings of worthlessness and defeat are not self serving. Burying ourselves hinders our growth and casts a shadow on our potential. Like the oak, we don’t die with the falling away of the dead. We thank God for the changing of seasons and look forward to the spring which always brings a renewal of growth. This message can be particularly difficult to apply in the face of a recent loss. So we must prepare ourselves in advance with the understanding that life will bring with it change. Circumstances will not always be what we are used to, comfortable with or expected. This is the cycle of life. Some consider it cruel but in fact, it is what we make of it. Spring brings the renewal of fresh leaves. Look for life. Look for opportunities of growth. Appreciate what is now and live for today. If you’ve enjoyed this post and would like to receive future posts directly to your inbox, please add your email below. If you listened to the most recent episode of the Nurah Speaks podcast, you heard me talk about the frustration I experienced observing someone littering on the MLK Day of Service in my local community. As great as it felt lending my time and serving the community, it was equally disappointing seeing this behavior, in particular by individuals who belong to the community - and especially since this is not an uncommon observation.
But it is not just residents who use our streets as trash receptacles. Camden, like many urban areas has long been the dumping grounds for its neighboring communities who export their trash into our communities. It is unfortunately not unusual to find piles of used tires, furniture or appliances dumped off of highway exit ramps by businesses who refuse to properly dispose of their waste. When the annual country and western concert comes to the waterfront amphitheater, the trash left behind by out of town concert goers is atrocious and ridiculous. But not only do outsiders dump their inorganic waste in Camden; they also bring the rejected living refuse from their own communities, sometimes by the van loads. These are often addicts, repeat criminal offenders or nuisance homeless who are dropped off with a stern warning, “Don’t come back!” As unfair and outrageous as all this is, what outrages me much more more is our own indiscriminate disregard within our own community. We have neighborhoods wherein residents will not pick up the trash just outside their front doors, sweep their own sidewalks or pick up their pet’s waste. It occurs to me that there there must be a serious disconnect for one to arbitrarily drop or ignore trash on the sidewalk or toss it out of the car window in his own community. It is apparent to any observer that our communities are neglected and mistreated by many of us who interact within it. Personal accountability should compel us to be responsible residents and neighbors. After all, how one manages his home and community tells a lot about what he thinks of himself. But our general lack of accountability is indicative by our apathy for the deterioration of our neighborhoods which we observe largely without intervention and interruption. Keep Britain Tidy is a UK based independent environmental charity. The organization’s position is that, "Litter is one of the first signs of social decay. If we don’t care about litter on our street, in our parks or on our high streets, we are unlikely to care about other environmental issues that negatively impact on our lives, our communities and society.” Littering and the acquiescence to it can be described as a ‘gateway’ to other communal ills. Litter begets litter. According a national study on litter by Keep America Beautiful, “One of the largest factors affecting a person’s decision to litter is the condition of the physical surroundings. Individuals are substantially more likely to litter into dirty or already littered environments than into clean ones … the difference is often as much as 2‐3 times as much litter in dirty environments.” The study showed that litter is more likely to occur:
In other words, the worse an environment appears, the more neglected it is, the higher the likelihood those who interact within the environment will litter. We should also know that clean communities are safer communities. When communities are dirty and unsafe, residents are more likely to have a sedentary lifestyle which contributes to preventable health conditions. Studies also show that dirtier communities contribute to higher rates of anxiety and depression. This means that there is a lot more at stake in ensuring our communities are clean. We have a great imperative to address the mentality that accompanies the tolerance of these conditions and in that mentality is the disconnect we must repair. There has to be a changing of what we find socially tolerable. If we decide that we will not accept our communities as we see them currently and do the work to clean them up, we will create conditions that are a deterrent to littering and neglect. We must have a restoration of pride and self respect. We make the case weak for others to respect our communities when we are indifferent towards them ourselves. No nonprofit group, no social service organization, no economic initiative can repair what is broken within the hearts and minds of a people in regards to their own pride and self respect. We did not arrive to this indifference by ourselves, but this is absolutely an issue we must tackle ourselves. This disconnect is repairable and the answers lie within new behaviors we must model today. Our minds will follow these new behaviors and our children will copy our example. Simple ways we can restore pride in our communities: 1. Clean outside our homes. Do not let trash collect there. Clean up every day if necessary. Let your neighbors and children see you caring about your community’s appearance. 2. Clean up in front of our neighbor’s house. The trash in front of your neighbor’s door will eventually make its way to your door; get ahead of it. 3. Host block cleanups. Get your neighbors involved. We do not need outsiders to come into our communities to host cleanup campaigns. We can do this ourselves and create pride in doing so. 4. Encourage young people to dispose of trash properly. Encourage them to take pride in their community. Teach them that they do not deserve to live in communities littered with trash. Give a positive word to them that will be a seed to sprout later. 5. Don’t run away. Make our own communities clean, safe and desirable. We cannot outrun our broken mental condition. If we are broken in one neighborhood, we will take that brokenness to our next address and create the same problems there. Engage in proud behavior and a proud mind will follow. Keeping our communities clean is not just aesthetically pleasing but is good for our overall health and mental wellbeing. There is no monopoly on good living. We are just one great decision away. If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive future posts directly to your inbox, please add your email below. Choosing the leaders who will serve our communities and organizations is one of our most important acts of civic and social engagement. There are many pressing issues in the black community and numerous voices speaking to these issues. And while engagement is key, no less important is the judgement we apply in choosing leaders to speak and act on our behalf.
When considering candidates, we should select from amongst ourselves those who exhibit the character necessary to shoulder the burden, skills necessary to perform the duties and knowledge base to be effective in the role. In other words, candidates should be competent and qualified. Additionally, our deliberation should ensure that principles always prevail over popularity. In selecting leadership, let’s consider the following: 1. Do they sacrifice consistently of their persons and property (resources), even in the absence of an ‘important’ title? Sacrifice demonstrates commitment to the movement or organization. You always can tell a person values by where he/she spends time, money and energy. Additionally, if a person waits for a prominent title before committing to the needs of the movement, this isn’t the character fit for leadership. 2. Do they practice what they preach? When someone walks their talk, it demonstrates they they believe in and are invested in the principles that they teach others. They are authentic and sincere. A person like this is dependable. 3. Are they dignified and do they respect the dignity of others? Good leaders comport themselves in a way that exemplifies respect and professionalism. They communicate effectively and in a manner that builds bridges and empowerment within groups. They respect all, regardless of titles or agreement and they are not quick to cut others down, despite the ability to do so. 4. Are they solution-oriented? This is an important point. Leaders are effective problem solvers. They identify problems and apply effective solutions. Once a problem is solved, solution oriented leaders seldom waste time re-hashing past problems. On the other hand, problem oriented people state and re-state problems and often find it difficult to transition to problem solving. They find problems for every solution and distract from the progressive agenda of organizations. Problem oriented people often become problems within organizations themselves. 5. Are they ‘big meeting members' or consistently active? Early mornings, late nights and weekends. There is a lot of actual work happening behind the scenes that foster the success of progressive organizations. Good leaders are in the trenches doing the heavy lifting from which many people take leave. While some members are most active in the presence of lights, cameras, microphones and big names, strong leaders are made behind the scenes doing the grunt work that creates stability and growth. They are no less enthusiastic in the small meetings as the big meetings. 6. Are they qualified? Candidates should have experience with organizational operations, administrating, project management, leadership, innovation, and should be knowledgeable of current issues challenging the organization. Qualified leaders are not new to the dance. The work, commitment and training attained in their junior roles has qualified them for more senior roles. 7. Do they empower others? Although generally ambitious, good leaders are not so self interested that they fail to recognize the potential of their team members. They are cognizant that the group achieves most when all members are supported and equipped with the tools and information necessary for top performance. They also find satisfaction when members thrive and receive acclaim for their individual contributions. Insecure leaders who feel threatened can stifle the potential of their teams thereby limiting the group’s success. There are many other considerations for leadership including the absence of fear and the presence of integrity, so this is by no means an exhaustive list. But it is a start. We must empower ourselves and our coming generations with the mature choices we make today. We should teach our young people that criteria IS necessary for leadership and show them how to think critically when making such decisions. Those of us imbued with the great task of installing leaders must do so wisely if we are sincere about achieving the results set forth in our guiding principles. In a forthcoming post, I will discuss barriers to group progress such as jealously and fear often impacting black organizations and community groups. Stay on the lookout for more! Nurah Writes Blog Page is intended to Tug on the Soul of the Black Community. If you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future posts directly to your inbox, submit your email address below! |
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